In this text, Mr. Salomon Mbutcho wants to talk about the secret of forgiveness, how to decipher it and make use of it. Forgiveness is a spiritual process which, depending on the individual and the type of couple, may take time. Forgiveness is an absolute mark of the presence of GOD in the individual who considers having been hurt since he has the strength to confide the offenses that have been done to him along with his pains to the Lord.

Once this transfer is made, the individual is completely liberated and can now become a safe asset again for his couple because resentment surely breaks couples. The healing process having been triggered by the total erasure of all the barriers of the couple, a new life opens before them. This phase, which has begun but often not forgotten, then becomes an experience for the couple and allows them to never go through this route again. GOD’s Absolute Forgiveness, the one he recommended that we adopt, the one he wanted Moses to adopt, included in no way divorce. Moses specified, saying that it was because the man’s heart had hardened that he was obliged to allow them to divorce, but absolutely and only in cases of adultery Matthew 19: 8.

For the Lord, there had never been a question of divorce in his eyes because he would have wanted both men and women to practice absolute Forgiveness and remain united in their couples, whatever the offenses committed on both sides. Yet an African story tells that the tongue and all of the teeth are a couple living inside the mouth. And every day, without doing it on purpose, the tongue slaps the teeth and is very sorry for it, and in the same way, when the teeth are fed up, they bite the tongue and even make it bleed. But the beauty of this couple is that they forgive each other every day and never leave each other.Forgiveness is like a soap used every day to wash away grudges and bad thoughts. In some African countries, traditional wrestlers apply milk or oil to their bodies so that their opponents cannot easily grab hold of them. And in the same vein, Americans use wax to make their windshields completely polished so that rain and snow slide off without being able to grip and then allow excellent eyesight in all weather conditions. In both of the above cases, oil, milk and wax make it easy for nothing to touch our self-esteem, they are, in fact, essential elements of self-control and clairvoyance, and without them not only can we be overcome by grudges, but the heap of frustration could significantly obstruct our vision. Forgiveness is necessarily a condition for the health, continuity and above all the longevity of the couple.

And often in life, we do not understand until too late, after having accomplished the crime suggested by satan who will turn himself around to point the finger at us as the accuser he always has been. Today I call on all couples to be inspired by Jesus through His behaviors in certain situations. Among all the centurions who flogged and nailed him to the cross, Pontius Pilate, who cowardly washed his hands of his fate, the Pharisees who spent most of their time wanting to humiliate him and the system in his entity, Jesus would have had too much to do after his resurrection, if he held a grudge. And yet he never spoke of them again, for in his Grace, abundance and class, he had forgiven them long before he even died (Luke 23:34).

The aches, pains and wounds that we inflict on each other in disputes only benefit satan because his primary goal is to harm GOD’s plan and hurt our relationship with Him at the same time, letting us do the dirty job he himself suggested to us. The greatest strength and the greatest weapon that GOD gives us to resist satan is the weapon of forgiveness. Often times we pray and ask the Lord for things for our marriage, for our children, our health conditions, our careers and others, but things do not turn out the way we want. We spend time lamenting and sometimes we even have the courage to complain to GOD because we do not receive our prayer requests on time.

Mr. Salomon Mbutcho urges at this point to refer to the beautiful prayer of « our father », a common prayer to all Christians, all denominations combined, it is clearly said in it « forgive us our trespasses, as we also forgive those who trespass against us ». While this is not the time for essay or discussion, it is important to stress the conditionality of GOD’s forgiveness in this passage. Before even talking about forgiveness, the prayer says first « give us this day our daily bread », and then says after « forgive us our trespasses, as we also forgive those who trespass against us ». If the conditionality of GOD’s forgiveness is necessarily and strongly subject to the forgiveness of those who have offended us, it is also linked to the obtaining of the bread of this day. In other words, if you do not forgive you will not be forgiven, and if you are not forgiven you will not receive today’s bread. Forgiveness is therefore an “order”, and whoever says “order” says “execution” and who says “execution” says “submission” and who says “submission” necessarily says “obedience”. Forgiveness at some level requires absolute obedience.

God knows and reads the hearts of each of us. We often say, « No, it’s over, I have forgiven », while our hearts are still longing for revenge. Forgiveness by « mouth » and « heart », or sincere forgiveness is required in order to comply with GOD’s requirements and finally to be able to claim to have his attention regarding our requests. It is straightforward give and take, without any concession from GOD. Forgiveness is one of the non-negotiable fields for GOD because it is not only a word but a physical and spiritual weapon, the secret of the trigger and the prosperity of all the couples who practice it. The Lord refreshes our memories in Leviticus 19:18, exhorting us to love our neighbor as ourselves, without longing for revenge and without holding grudges. Life is a boomerang, it’s what you will give that you will receive.